Hmmmm...
My bio-mom Elva sent me an email last week letting me know she saw in the San Diego newspaper that Corrine Friedlander died a couple of weeks ago. Interesting. I was thinking about this last night and wondering if I should say anything.
Mrs. Frielander was my last foster-mother before I got adopted. I don't have fond memories of her. She had, in my opinion, lots of "issues".
Corrine and her husband fostered a lot of children that ended up in the custody of San Diego County, like my sister and I were. They did provide a roof over our heads, and meals. We went to school. They even threw birthday parties for us. That was nice. But I can never forgive her for some of the things she did, especially to my sister.
Thanks to her I have a healthy dislike or organized religion. And I am extremely skeptical and wary of those who claim to be religious and pious. Too many people use that as a cover to mask deep sins and weaknesses. To the authorities, she seemed perfect. A god fearing Christian woman who wanted to take care of little children. Too bad they didn't know what she was really like.
Her and her husband had two children of their own. Two girls, Sally and Susie, who were teenagers when I lived at their house. There is one thing I remember most the morning the CPS van pulled up to take me out of there. As I said my goodbyes I remember feeling sorry for Sally and Susie. I knew I was getting out of there, and they were stuck with her for life. I often wonder how they turned out. Poor girls. I remember some of the hell they went through with her.
Corinne's specialty was shame, sex, sin, hellfire, and punishment. Even as a kid I used to be amazed that her husband was so whipped that he would not stand up to her and some of things she would do. To be honest, she had so many issues with human sexuality that I don't understand how she even managed to get pregnant twice.
I believe that we all end up in a hell or heaven of our own making. If you believe in a hell, then that is where you will go, until get you tired of it and let it go. So for Corrine, I can't help but wonder what kind of hell you built for yourself. Perhaps you will judge yourself for the lies and sick tortures you devised. Perhaps that is why you claimed to be so religious? So you could live with yourself?
I know that no one is perfect. I know that you were a deeply flawed person. I think you were a product of a seriously dysfunctional upbringing back in the hills of Tennessee. Your parents obviously stuffed you full of guilt and shame and convinced you that you were a sinner. They convinced you that Satan was real, that he was in your head, and that you were going to burn in hell for the thoughts that you allowed him to put in there.
Perhaps I am being to hard on you. Even though I can't forgive you for what you did to Janice. I am grateful that we were spared a worse fate. Considering the options, things would have probably been worse. There was a reason were were there. I don't forget that. At least you didn't break our bones, put your cigarettes out on our flesh, drug us, or let others sexually abuse us.
I remember so many of the other kids that came through your house when I lived there. They were always so scared when they arrived. I would have to care of them and make them feel safe. I would take their hands and tell them that they were going to be ok. The first night back in the bunks they always cried. We would lay in our bunks n the dark and they would tell me about the tortures that got them there. Pretty strange stuff for a six-year old kid to listen to, eh?
Well.... part of me is grateful for taking me in during my time of need. And part of me is glad to know that you can no longer screw up another kid's head with your twisted crap.
4 comments:
No tears wasted from me either. Thank you for posting this! I had no idea you were witness to "my stuff with her", as you have never told me before. Janice
Wow! I had a weird frisson reading what you wrote, not on my behalf, but on my father's. He died a long time ago, but a vivid part of his history was the Jewish orphanage he was placed into in 1924 when his mother could not longer manage him. It was a well run place, and his home for the next 11 years. He made friends their and found a mentor, who helped spirit him out of Berlin in 1935 to make Aliyah to Palestine. But the head of that orphanage -- apparently she was something quite awful, and remarkably like the Mrs. Friedlander you describe, in that she was a rigid religious woman who had "issues" that were aimed at destroying the little children under her care. The only time I ever saw my Dad cry was when he learned that this woman had died, and the tears weren't for her, but for his lost childhood.
well in case you didn't know, ken friedlander died about a year an a half befor she did, he died of lung cancer. he died while they were living in deming new mexico. then corrine moved out to palm springs to live with her daughter sall and her husband craig where her family took care of her, corrine had a terrible terminal disease, and her family loved her very much, even her foster daugter christina came and visited as often as she could. my name is teresa jahries and i am corrines grandaughter, my grandmother was an amaizng woman and a fighter, she she may have been hard or tough at times, but you have to admit, she had a heart of gold. i am the only grandaughter,she has four grandsons, whom are my brothers. my granmother would never do anything sick or twisted to anybody and there is nothing wrong with being religious, they have their beliefs, and she was a strong christian, and lived hre life by god, and his word. she has helped so many kids and people in her life. please watch what you say in a public blog, cuz who hurt people and don't even know it. please consider others, and the courtesy of their families, before you talk bad about a deceased family member of a loved one
to janice..
if may ask.. which stuff did you encounter from her.. cuz for all we know you and your brother could have been difficult children, since kids who tend to have come from a foster backround have "issues" of their own from traumas or things caused by becoming a part of the foster care system.
My grandmas in heaven where she belongs. like i said in my post before "froggy 1990" that you should think before you talk cuz she has people who love her and what you and your brother say are hurtful to others. i have showed my mom,(sally) this post and you know what she turned out fine, my mom did foster care, i was brought into her family as a baby, as well as two of my other brothers. she turned out fine. and so did my aunt susan...
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